Huge honor to have been interviewed by Mathew from Blog of the Wolf Boy! He’s got this amazing, unique Behind the Author Series. His brilliant work coupled with his out-of-the-box abundance captivates his readers. Do visit his power blog and be ready to be enthralled! 😊🌟✨💫🌟✨💫🌟✨💫😊
Today’s Behind the Author interview is going to once again, be a little bit out of the ordinary as I interview a newer blogger to the WordPress community. After speaking with this blogger for some time now, I’ve realized that she has both wisdom in her heart, and an interesting story to tell.
I was bullied. And I didn’t fight back. I was stunned. I was shaken. I was broken. I died for a few minutes. In pain and humiliation, in agony and regret, in tears and disbelief. I was paralyzed. I was speechless. I did nothing.
This scene is a flashback to my earlier days of wanting to write with sharpened skill. I applied with an organization that espoused “good writing”. Today, I choose to keep the name of that organization a mystery. I want the focus to be primarily on the lessons I learned along the way.
One fateful day, during the much revered, or should I aptly say, much feared “Initiation Day”, I was asked to go to a house where the applicants were supposed to be formally welcomed to the group. Or so I thought. But I was brutally mistaken.
The air became palpably stiff when the applicants were blindfolded. With no warning. No briefing. Just military-like dominance. Although my gut squirmed immediately and my mind began racing with disgusting thoughts, I talked myself into “staying cool”, looking confident, and ready to partner with the organization’s leaders and members.
minutes into the “Welcoming Rites”, we were instructed to wait for our turn to
be called into “The Room”. The waiting was killing me. Mind you, I’m a very patient
person on a normal day. But I have to admit that I’ve got a wild imagination,
what with all the suspense thriller movies that I devour.
was finally my turn to be “welcomed” by the committee, I felt all eyes glaringly
checking me out from head to foot. Yes I could see them. I could feel them.
Even a billion blindfolds would not make me impenetrable to their vicious
silence. The longest, most dreaded kind. My mind went all over the place. I could
hardly contain my nervous energy. I felt my heart running its race as if it
were chased and challenged to survive. Then all of a sudden, I felt a chill as
I heard a laughter behind me. The sickening kind that befriends the dark. I
braced myself for impact and felt someone’s heavy hands over my shoulders. Then
others started snickering in unison.
At that moment, I wanted to run. Immediately. To save my life. But then again, I screeched in halt. I wanted to maintain my dignity. Or whatever was left of it. I didn’t want to be labeled as a coward.
So that’s how they did it …. Torture. The crazy waiting, the guessing game, the physical intimidation …. That was the calm before the storm.
Then boom!!! Voices started hurling accusations and insults from all corners of the room. First, they attacked my colorful “happy” wardrobe. But I thought to myself, “What could be so happy about a simple pair of jeans and a white top?” I did my best to be low-key in fashion as I was advised that I needed to blend easily to be accepted. The heckling continued when they said I spoke with sharpness and clarity ….that I was better off joining an organization to hone my elocutionary skills. But I whispered in my head, “I’m already comfortable with public speaking. I just want to be comfortable with written communication. Is that a crime?” The ghastly haunt went on. My memory chooses to edit that portion. Then, from the center of the room, a looming voice attacked the watch I was wearing. Two voices chorused that I wore different watches on different days and that was not “timely” for that organization. I was not going to fit well. I was NOT welcome. Period.
What?!?!?!?!?! That’s when my soul screamed the loudest.I love my watches, every single one of them! Not because of their fancy looks, not because of their esteemed brands, not even because they tell good time, but because my parents gave them to me. With love. With loads of love unspeakable!
How dare they even attempt to touch on that. My watches stand for time. The value of time. For every passing second will just be that. A memory. And one can only look back. But one cannot bring back time. And so that was the deal breaker. That was my point before my V1 speed, the point before I would actually “commit to fly” with the organization.
cried that day. In my body, in my mind, in my spirit. But that was remarkably
the “Initiation Day” I needed in life. Not everything is easy on the eye,
calming to the ear, or comforting to the soul. Not everything.
okay. I have learned to be okay with that.
For amidst life’s storms and pressures, amidst life’s distasteful surprises (sprinkled even on a sunshiny path), I can defiantly face these giants. I can boldly claim my space in our world. I can take the blows and fight the good fight. I simply shake the dust off my feet, hold my head up high, and wink at them. Yes, NOT ON MY WATCH! ❤️
To blog or not to blog…. that was my question…. I’m sure that not even Shakespeare could’ve helped me with that one haha! I had to do my own homework. I had to do my own soul searching. I needed to have a conference with myself and ask the question that never escaped my heart nor my head. I dug deep into my core to know the very reason, the very motivation, the very inspiration that resonated with my desire to blog in the first place.
And so the movie in my mind began. My inner dialogue unfolded.
“I’m going to start writing down my thoughts. Hmmm, really? Is that a wise thing to do? Yes, surely I’ll gain a much clearer perspective when I see my musings crystallized on paper. Oh, but is that a safe action to take? Wouldn’t that be exposing my passion and pain, my joys and tears , my sunshine and rain, my yin and yang, my hopes and fears, my inclinations and biases, my thoughts and feelings, my insights and ruminations, my heart and head, my very being? Ahhh oh wow, how liberating, how empowering! But then whoa, how revealing, how daunting! Most especially if I ever get subjected to brutal criticism. Sigh.”
I used to struggle. I used to wrestle with that question. I used to second-guess myself. In different moments of my life, I attempted to wear different hats, thinking that the more viewpoints I entertained, the faster it would be for me to arrive at the optimal decision. It became a boxing match between my heart and my head, my head and my heart.
Then came that defining moment in my life. One evening right after dinner, I took my medicines as part of my special kidney care. I silently thanked Our Heavenly Father for all His sweetest guidance and grace, His gentlest love and care. After a few minutes of prayer, I had an instant welling of inspiration to turn my laptop on and start typing. So I pressed into that golden moment and pressed the computer keys. I started pouring out my heart and soul. Although my brain was trying to snap me out of the moment, I kept on typing. I kept on pressing on, both literally and figuratively. And I was overcome with such joy, such peace.
I’ve always dreamt that the two roads in my life would meet at a blissful, serene spot in my core. That night, I cried because I knew that was the blessed moment. My heart and my head had finally embraced each other.
Today, as I am an infant blogger (Haha this is simply my second blog post!), I know that I have a long, long way to go. And I realize that as challenging as it may be, I face this new chapter in my life with brimming hope and inspiration.
I look forward to seeing more and more of life without filters. I am willing to expose my strengths and vulnerabilities in hopes of sharing my lessons learned. I am going to show up in the arena of life. I am ready to write my story, as we all have our own rich stories to tell. I am raring to go on this adventure. To share my insights that may touch a chord in the hearts of some readers. I can hardly wait to capture the photos on my head and the messages in my heart. I am so excited to authentically celebrate all of me in the varying hues and shades of the rainbow. To amplify both the beat in my heart and the song in my head.
I choose to live fully in my space in our world. I choose to respectfully journal my significant moments and thoughts in life. I choose to leave my legacy of love.
Once upon a time, my heart said yes. And my head said no.
Well, now we all know the “happy ending” to this lovely, interesting crossroad. ❤️
Have you ever felt that you were spinning in your head with the next item on your To Do List? Have you ever been swamped with so much work that you didn’t even know how to actually begin? Have you ever been startled by your alarm ringer on your smart phone that you pressed snooze and defiantly curled up in bed? Have you ever been caught in a horrendous traffic jam to the point of getting all antsy and critical spotting all the negatives on the road? Have you ever been barraged with so many texts, missed calls, tweets, and notifications that you wished you could put your phone on silent mode for a century or even throw it out of the window? Have you simply been overwhelmed with today’s unending expectations and demands on you from your family, your relatives, your friends, your colleagues, your clients, your community, your state, your country, and the rest of the universe, oh yes, and social media too?
I have come across a number of days like that in my life. Especially since I have consistently been passionate about loving life and building up others. Making the most out of my life experiences. Striving to bring out the best in others.
As a corporate trainer and training consultant through the years, I’ve partnered with clients to help them uphold their corporate vision and mission statements. We’ve worked on aligning their corporate values with measurable performance goals. We’ve aimed at translating these into professional proactive service behaviors in the line. The task at hand was gigantic, to say the least. And yet, the psychic rewards were beyond compare.
In the corporate arena, I sought to show up every day as my authentic, empathetic, and passionate self.
I would go beyond the lesson plan or process design of each training session I conducted. Sure, my main goal was to meet the terminal objectives set out specifically for the programs. Although candidly, I went beyond. I always loved to go beyond. I wanted to have those add-on lessons of professionalism, personal excellence, respect, care, and love.
In the same vein that many of us can relate to constantly pressing toward excellence in all our chosen fields and passions, many of us have also been saddled with days of media overstimulation and 24/7 demands set upon us by others who likewise want to live life to the fullest.
But what does “living life to the fullest” really mean? What are the standards of measurement? Can it even be quantified through a formula? Are there specific signposts that let you know you’re on the right track?
For many of us today, life has become a non-stop race for success even as one races exclusively with oneself. Life has become a theme park’s most challenging and heart-pounding ride. Life has become a series of exhilarating adventures. Life has become a TV reality show that exposes one’s strengths and vulnerabilities.
And although action and adventure are certified blockbusters in the film industry, there are moments in life that one simply becomes greater with that much needed pause. Yes that seemingly enigmatic moment that escapes the modern man. Time to reflect, to instrospect, to evaluate, to recalculate, to recalibrate, to recharge, to reimagine, to redesign, to rebuild, to rebrand.
For it is only in that sacred space, that personal zone, that Zen mindfulness that one can truly internalize the depth and width, the total circumference of one’s rich meaningful life and even more so, one’s impact on the rest of life itself.
And when one looks within, one hears his heartbeat and feels the pulsating rhythm. He rediscovers his enormous capacity to love. He sees his journey through fresh eyes of awe and wonder. He embraces his commitment to grow. He is reminded that life is filled with infinite possibilities. He is refreshed with renewed vigor, hope, faith, humanness, love.
He is ready to live again. He is inspired to connect with himself and the rest of the world. He is awakened to the bold truth that in this mystery and gift of life, he always has a choice. And he chooses LOVE. ❤️